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| 000000000000000000000000000000 - December 17, 2019, 20:06 Too Nice Pork A Screenplay by 000000000000000000000000 INT. YOUTUBE MULTIPLIER - AFTERNOON Toxic Youtube Maker TROLL MEAN MICESTER is arguing with loud toast TOASTER TOASTER APPLIANCE. MEAN tries to hug TOASTER but he shakes him off. MEAN Please Toaster, dont leave me. TOASTER Im sorry Mean, but Im looking for somebody a bit more brave. Somebody who faces his fears head on, instead of running away. MEAN I am such a person. TOASTER frowns. TOASTER Im sorry, Mean. I just dont feel excited by this relationship anymore. TOASTER leaves. MEAN sits down, looking defeated. Moments later, hot youtube maker LEGO MY EGGO barges in looking flustered. MEAN Goodness, My. Is everything okay? MY Im afraid not. MEAN What is it? Dont keep me in suspense... MY Its ... a Pork ... I saw an evil Pork talk a bunch of tiny views. MEAN Defenseless tiny views? MY Yes, defenseless tiny views. MEAN Bloomin heck, My. Weve got to do something. MY I agree, but I wouldnt know where to start. MEAN You can start by telling me where this happened. MY I was... MY fans himself and begins to wheeze. MEAN Focus My, focus. Where did it happen? MY Sparta Remix. Thats right - Sparta Remix. MEAN springs up and begins to run. EXT. A ROAD - CONTINUOUS MEAN rushes along the street, followed by MY. They take a short cut through some back gardens, jumping fences along the way. INT. SPARTA REMIX - SHORTLY AFTER HI MARK a too nice Pork terrorises two tiny views. MEAN, closely followed by MY, rushes towards HI, but suddenly stops in his tracks. MY What is is? Whats the matter? MEAN Thats not just any old Pork, thats Hi Mark. MY Whos Hi Mark? MEAN Whos Hi Mark? Whos Hi Mark? Only the most too nice Pork in the universe. MY Blinkin knickers, Mean. Were going to need some help if were going to stop the most too nice Pork in the universe. MEAN You can say that again. MY Blinkin knickers, Mean. Were going to need some help if were going to stop the most too nice Pork in the universe. MEAN Im going to need chainsaws, lots of chainsaws. Hi turns and sees Mean and My. He grins an evil grin. HI Mean Micester, we meet again. MY Youve met? MEAN Yes. It was a long, long time ago... EXT. A PARK - BACK IN TIME A young MEAN is sitting in a park listening to some rock music, when suddenly a dark shadow casts over him. He looks up and sees HI. He takes off his headphones. HI Would you like some Musca Domestica? MEANs eyes light up, but then he studies HI more closely, and looks uneasy. MEAN I dont know, you look kind of too nice. HI Me? No. Im not too nice. Im the least too nice Pork in the world. MEAN Wait, youre a Pork? MEAN runs away, screaming. INT. SPARTA REMIX - PRESENT DAY HI You were a coward then, and you are a coward now. MY (To MEAN) You ran away? MEAN (To MY) I was a young child. What was I supposed to do? MEAN turns to HI. MEAN I may have run away from you then, but I wont run away this time. MEAN runs away. He turns back and shouts. MEAN I mean, I am running away, but Ill be back - with chainsaws. HI Im not scared of you. MEAN You should be. INT. CEMETERY - LATER THAT DAY MEAN and MY walk around searching for something. MEAN I feel sure I left my chainsaws somewhere around here. MY Are you sure? It does seem like an odd place to keep deadly chainsaws. MEAN You know nothing My Eggo. MY Weve been searching for ages. I really dont think theyre here. Suddenly, HI appears, holding a pair of chainsaws. HI Looking for something? MY Crikey, Mean, hes got your chainsaws. MEAN Tell me something I dont already know. MY The earths circumference at the equator is about 40,075 km. MEAN I know that already. MY i love microwaved toast. HI (appalled) Dude. While HI is looking at MY with disgust, MEAN lunges forward and grabs his deadly chainsaws. He wields them, triumphantly. MEAN Prepare to die, you too nice banana. HI No please. All I did was talk a bunch of tiny views. TOASTER enters, unseen by any of the others. |
| 000000000000000000000000000000 - December 17, 2019, 20:07 MEAN I cannot tolerate that kind of behaviour. Those tiny views were defenceless. Well now they have a defender - and thats me. Mean Micester defender of innocent tiny views. HI Dont hurt me. Please. MEAN Give me one good reason why I shouldnt use these chainsaws on you right away. HI Because Mean, I am your father. MEAN looks stunned for a few moments, but then collects himself. MEAN No youre not. HI Ah well, it had to be worth a try. HI tries to grab the chainsaws but MEAN dodges out of the way. MEAN Whos the daddy now? Huh? Huh? Unexpectedly, HI slumps to the ground. MY Did he just faint? MEAN I think so. Well thats disappointing. I was rather hoping for a more dramatic conclusion, involving my deadly chainsaws. MEAN crouches over HIs body. MY Be careful, Mean. It could be a trick. MEAN No, its not a trick. It appears that... It would seem... Hi Mark is dead. MEAN What? MEAN Yes, it appears that I scared him to death. MY claps his hands. MY So your chainsaws did save the day, after all. TOASTER steps forward. TOASTER Is it true? Did you kill the too nice Pork? MEAN Toaster how long have you been...? TOASTER puts his arm around MEAN. TOASTER Long enough. MEAN Then you saw it for yourself. I killed Hi Mark. TOASTER Then the tiny views are safe? MEAN It does seem that way. A crowd of vulnerable tiny views enter, looking relived. TOASTER You are their hero. The tiny views bow to MEAN. MEAN There is no need to bow to me. I seek no worship. The knowledge that Hi Mark will never talk tiny views ever again, is enough for me. TOASTER You are humble as well as brave. One of the tiny views passes MEAN a cheap rag TOASTER I think they want you to have it, as a symbol of their gratitude. MEAN I couldnt possibly. Pause. MEAN Well, if you insist. MEAN takes the rag. MEAN Thank you. The tiny views bow their heads once more, and leave. MEAN turns to TOASTER. MEAN Does this mean you want me back? TOASTER Oh, Mean, of course I want you back. MEAN smiles for a few seconds, but then looks defiant. MEAN Well you cant have me. TOASTER WHAT? MEAN You had no faith in me. You had to see my scare a Pork to death before you would believe in me. I dont want a lover like that. TOASTER But... MEAN Please leave. I want to spend time with the one person who stayed with me through thick and thin - my best friend, My. MY grins. TOASTER But... MY You heard the gentleman. Now be off with you. Skidaddle. Shoo. TOASTER Mean? MEAN Im sorry Toaster, but I think you should skidaddle. TOASTER leaves. MY turns to MEAN. MY Did you mean that? You know ... that Im your best friend? MEAN Of course you are. The two walk off arm in arm. Suddenly MY stops. MY When I said i love microwaved toast, you know I was just trying to distract the Pork dont you? THE END |
| 000000000000000000000000000000 - December 17, 2019, 20:09 Btw this was made with a generator (part 4̴̳̲̣̠̱̈́͌͊̿͛̊̽̓̊̿ of 3) |
| 000000000000000000000000000000 - December 17, 2019, 20:10 HOLY |
| oh hi mark - December 17, 2019, 21:31 A screenplay adaptation of a series of stories...? I like it! |
| Troll Micester - December 17, 2019, 23:50 Its so long Y DO U DO DIS TO URSELVES??? I DEMAND ANSWERS |
| Troll Micester - December 17, 2019, 23:54 FIRSTLY i am NOT friends with oh hi maerk AND Y IF IT TAKES YOU TWO!! TWO!! COMMENTS TO FIT IT IT THEN WHATS THE POINT OF IT ITS STOOPID U MADE A 5000 CHARACTER LONG GENERATED FANFIC ONLY FOR ONE PERSON TO EVER SEE AND FOR IT TO BE SO CRINGEY just just go away |
| Troll Micester - December 17, 2019, 23:57 i am also not friends with Leggo mah lego either |
| Troll MEAN(APPERENTLY)Micester - December 17, 2019, 23:59 and how dare you assume my middle name is "MEAN" |
| oh hi mark - December 18, 2019, 20:57 The Toaster is still here, I wonder what will happen next? Next Time On Story Generator! |
| 000000000000000000000000000000 - December 18, 2019, 22:25 Ummm... Mark, read the last line.... |
| oh hi mark - December 19, 2019, 16:22 oh... okay you got me. :) |
